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OTA Forum Moderator
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Discussion Starter #1 (Edited)
Have you found a link, photo, or advertisement for one of those gimmick antennas that promises to be the best one you've ever owned? Scan it, post a link, or just tell us about it in this thread.

I call them "P.T. Barnum" antennas, because when it comes to OTA signals, there's a seeker born every minute.

If I owned one of those fly by night antenna companies I'd call mine "The Miracle Antenna" with the ad slogan "If your antenna gives you good reception its a Miracle!" :D

HDTV101 said:
I found this site and it was a great laugh "Tacky TV Antennas"

http://www.tackyliving.com/hg/antenna.html
 

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Discussion Starter #2
Wacky Antennas

I think this was probably the only bad antenna that Jerrold ever made... what a stinker. :D

 

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Discussion Starter #3
"...actually pulls signals right out of the air!"

Mommy was a bit unsure about such a big antenna and as she was leafing through a magazine she saw this ad and was really impressed with its capabilities, so she ordered one instead. :D



After reading that write-up don't you just want to run out and get one today?!!! ;) I think someone who was selling antennas like this got busted for false advertising, so if you look at the ad copy now it actually seems to be making fun of anyone dumb enough to buy it in the first place! A fool and his money are soon parted.
 

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Discussion Starter #4
Another Home Wiring Antenna Dud

I'm not sure what the little parabolic dish on this thing is for. I suppose rather than chuck it in the garbage when you see how awful your picture is, you could use it as a little finger bowl for mixed nuts... or maybe a very small pet could drink water from it... it could be an ashtray...

 

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Discussion Starter #5
That groovin' set of rabbit ears

I really dug the mix of patchouli and apple smell in her hair, and when I dropped the tone arm down on "Omaha" by Moby Grape she made this sort of twist over my outstretched body, and as the weight of her tummy pushed my peace sign belt buckle deep into my gut I turned my head and just grooved, wondering if her far out Rembrandt antenna was actually a clock, or if it held the secret to eternity... all you have to do is look deep into it and surrender your bad karma, man, or you'll freak out unless you got ripped off on the brown blotter and bum out.

 

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Discussion Starter #7 (Edited)

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Discussion Starter #8
Xium Air - Giving New Meaning to the word "Spilateral"



Hey, you need it because its "spilateral". No seriously. Be the first on your block to prove once and for all that Maxwell and Faraday and all those other old farts were dead wrong about electromagnetism and wave propagation. Take a look at this scientific-looking web page. Its got to be true, its on the web:

http://www.goxium.com/technology.htm I dunno about you, but I been hip-mo-tized. Where's my credit card?

Buy 2 and save 25% for 50% less signal than antennas costing 60% less 100% of the time. Spilateral. Sounds like how the Flying Spaghetti Monster moves around. Oh ya, I almost forgot... read these:

http://www.ripoffreport.com/reports/ripoff132819.htm
http://www.badbusinessbureau.com/reports/ripoff106517.htm
http://badbusinessbureau.com/reports/ripoff122048.htm
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Speaking of fraudulent...

Hey, remember the "Little Wonder"? Little wonder the authorities pulled it off the market.

 

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stampeder said:
Mommy was a bit unsure about such a big antenna and as she was leafing through a magazine she saw this ad and was really impressed with its capabilities, so she ordered one instead. :D
Heh, I remember those ads...

I knew a girl back in high school (80s) who was soooo excited because her dad was going to buy her a "satellite dish". She made it sound like her dad's got "connections" and can get it super cheap. Man, did I ever burst that bubble. :D
 

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Discussion Starter #11 (Edited)
Some gentle advice about the Terk-55

For those of you who don't know him, Tigerbangs has been doing professional antenna installations for over 35 years. This wonderful passage of his about the Terk-55 antenna was copied and pasted from a post he made at the Home Theater Spot:
tigerbangs said:
If one more person comes on this forum and suggests the Terk 55 for anything other than as a baseball bat, I will hunt them down and beat them with their beloved antenna until they finally relent or bleed to death, whichever happens sooner matters not in the least to me! How many people have to spend their hard-earned money on this turkey, only to find out that it is about as useful as sticking a finger in a crumbling dike? Give me the $75-100 you spend on that piece of excrement, and I will actually get you some TV reception!
Don't say you weren't warned!!! :D

danbcman said:
This antenna is very poor at VHF with very little good in it for UHF either. I have one which I bought, tried out, and then put in the storage locker as an experiment that went really bad. It takes so much aiming and rescanning for every little bit of change in direction and then it grabs next to no signal - what it does get is poor. It is an overpriced pipe dream.
And this is from HDTVPrimer:
Manufacturers to avoid:

· Terk – Severe hype. The equipment works, but Terk marketing prevents intelligent decision-making.

· Xium – Totally fraudulent antennas
To their credit, Terk seems to have gone into a rebranding deal with Winegard over the past year or so, I presume to hopefully ditch their bad reputation from the 55 and other such scrap.
 

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Discussion Starter #13
Ha ha, I would have guessed that it was some strange device for twirling your socks inside a laundry machine... weird. :D
 

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Xium Air - Giving New Meaning to the word "Spilateral"
I just ordered Spilaterals for all my friends! What a great name for an antenna. These rip-off artists go to all the trouble of making a snazzy website, but come up with a name like that?

Maybe SpewAllover would be better.
 

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Discussion Starter #15
UFOs Attack GPS Users!



Before you go buying one of certain UFO-style omnidirectional antenna brands you'd best read up on some trouble you may be causing for nearby geocachers, taxicabs, scout troops, and other dedicated GPS users:

http://www.btinternet.com/~af-aditel/EMI.HTM (Aaaargh, he misspelled St. Catharines and Manitoulin!)

http://www.uscg.mil/d8/dpa/001-03.htm

Wouldn't that be something if some poor retirees were constantly lost in their big RV, never finding their way because their GPS was being jammed by their TV antenna? Sort of like a person who tries for 13 years to win at solitaire but then discovers that a card has been missing from the deck all that time.

Just avoid UFO-style antennas, period.
 

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Discussion Starter #17 (Edited)
Get Your Mind Out Of The Gutter!

A DHCer sent me an email asking about the General Electric TV94757 antenna, which they had seen for sale on ebay. I checked it out for myself and wanted to share some thoughts about this device:



Bleccchhhhh... The End.

Oh all right, here's what I think: for a General Electric product it is generally hectic trying to figure out how to aim this thing when it is affixed beneath one's eavestroughs. I take it they were going to come out with an accessory kit that rotates the user's home on a big turntable or something. Of course they don't mention the multipath effects of aluminum eaves, so I assume this is for plastic eaves only. Who knows?

I've looked around a bit and it seems that GE doesn't offer this turkey anymore, so maybe Six Sigma is still in effect there ;) but it would do as a Halloween Star Wars light sabre in a pinch.

http://www.sadoun.com/Sat/Products/G...ax-Antenna.htm
 

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Discussion Starter #18
Lost in Translation



"No no no!!! I ordered a StealthY antenna... y'know, the ones that don't attract unwanted attention of neighbours?!!!"

I'll bet this one not only evades radar but TV signals too.
 

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Discussion Starter #19
As Used In Hospitals

Nurse, whispering: "Wake up... wake up sir... c'mon, time to wake up..."

"UUuuuuuhhhhh... where am I?"

"You're in the hospital. You've had a nasty accident."

"What the hell is that thing?"



"That's our new Mitzu CRA-5000 VHF/UHF TV Antenna & Physiotherapeutic Back-Cracker that you'll be strapped onto for the next seven months."

"UUuuuuuhhhhh..."
 
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