Jokes Thread - Canadian TV, Computing and Home Theatre Forums
  • 1 Post By LONSat
  • 1 Post By BCScott
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post #1 of 11 (permalink) Old 2016-12-18, 11:24 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 52
Jokes Thread

Could find a recent Jokes thread here. So I thought, "Why not start one?"

Let me post the first one.

A man went to a doctor having a problem that his legs turns to blue. The doctor gave him some medicine.

A week later he came back with no improvement. Then the doctor changed the medicines.

Another week later, the doctor decided to cut off his legs so that his rest of the body remain safe.

But this time his bandages turns into blue. And then Doctor said him "It's because of your jeans".
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post #2 of 11 (permalink) Old 2017-01-06, 11:45 PM
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 74
Honestly, I don't understand what you are trying to say. Do you think it is a joke? I think 99% people will say it is nothing but waste of 2 minutes.
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post #3 of 11 (permalink) Old 2017-01-07, 11:16 AM
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Toronto,
Posts: 1,358
I thought it was pretty funny.

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post #4 of 11 (permalink) Old 2017-02-05, 10:57 AM Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 52
Teacher: Kids, what does the chicken give you?
Kids: Eggs!
Teacher: Very good! And what does the sheep give you?
Kids: Mutton!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Kids: Homework
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post #5 of 11 (permalink) Old 2017-02-17, 11:46 AM
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Police: Where do you live?
Me: With my parents
Police: Where do your parents live?
Me: With me.
Police: Where do you all live?
Me: Together.
Police: Where is your house?
Me: Next to my neighbors house.
Police: Where is your neighbors house?
Me: You won't believe me if I tell you.
Police: Tell me!
Me: Next to my house.
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post #6 of 11 (permalink) Old 2017-06-30, 04:18 PM
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 33
I spent a couple of hours defrosting the fridge last night,

Or "foreplay" as the missus likes to call it
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post #7 of 11 (permalink) Old 2017-07-18, 12:30 PM
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 94
Heh...I gawt one! XB

You know the definition of a windjammer? XB

It's the agonizing screams of a trapped turd! XD LOL
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post #8 of 11 (permalink) Old 2017-09-25, 12:47 PM
Join Date: Jul 2002
Location: London, Ontario
Posts: 1,469
This was sent to me - a bit of a groaner.

Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Romany likes this.

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post #9 of 11 (permalink) Old 2017-10-17, 04:24 PM
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Windermere, BC
Posts: 1,312
I bought a new Ford F 150 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck. Go figure, it runs on either hydrogen, gasoline, or E85.

I returned to the dealer yesterday because I couldn't get the radio to work.
The service technician explained that the radio was voice activated.
`Nelson', the technician said to the radio. The radio replied, 'Ricky or
Willie?' 'Willie!' he continued and 'On the Road Again´ came from the speakers.

Then he said, 'Ray Charles!', and in an instant 'Georgia On My Mind' replaced
Willie Nelson. I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say, `Beethoven', I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said,`Beatles', I'd get one of their awesome songs.

Yesterday, some guy ran a red light and nearly creamed my new truck, but I swerved in time to avoid him.

I yelled, 'Ass Hole!' Immediately the radio responded with, "Ladies and gentlemen, The President of the United States."

Damn I love this truck!
Zank Frappa likes this.

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post #10 of 11 (permalink) Old 2017-10-20, 04:45 PM
Join Date: Oct 2016
Posts: 105
Originally Posted by BCScott View Post
I bought a new Ford F 150 Tri-Flex Fuel Truck...
This is the best joke I heard on the internet. I got one

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher for 16 - 18 year olds.
She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun, kicking a football. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.
"Are you ok?" she asks.
"Yes," he replies. "You can go and play with the other kids, you know," she says.
"It's best I stay here," he says.
"Why's that, sweetie?" asks the blonde.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says, "Because I'm the GOAL KEEPER !"
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post #11 of 11 (permalink) Old 2019-08-13, 11:00 AM
Join Date: Jun 2016
Posts: 500
Infamous punchlines:

"Not so funny when it's your own Mother is it?" Robin Williams

"I wipe my dick on the curtains, she hits the frigging roof" Unknown

"I guess there's some lines that should not be crossed" Anthony Jeselnik

"Mom says, "well, he shoulda said something."" Buddy Hackett

"We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room". Rodney Dangerfield

228 transmitters
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