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Old 2012-04-27, 04:04 PM   #1
stampeder
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Smile Mixed Up Old Sayings...

Spice up your conversations with these fractured epigrams:

Never count your chickens until they've crossed the road.

Give a man a fish and he'll be early to bed, early to rise.

He who laughs last is like a bowl of cherries.

Always the bridesmaid, never the bird in the bush.
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Old 2012-04-27, 07:00 PM   #2
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Check out the film "Trixie" with Emily Watson if you want some gems. Not the best movie but amusing.

"You have to grab the bull by the tail and look it in the eye"
"fish or get off the pot"
"hey, nobody's human"
"that guy smokes like a fish"
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Old 2012-04-28, 03:32 AM   #3
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Never look at a gift horse until the fat lady sings.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, seven years of bad luck.

Make hay while the apple never falls far from the tree.
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Old 2012-04-28, 12:09 PM   #4
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You're barking up a dead horse's a$$.
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Old 2012-04-28, 03:50 PM   #5
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The early bird gets the stitch in time.

A watched pot never starves a fever.
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Old 2012-05-07, 12:26 PM   #6
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It is better to light a candle than to break your mothers back.

It is better to have a loved a short man than never to have loved a tall.
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Old 2012-05-08, 03:43 AM   #7
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Beer today, gone tomorrow.

The bigger they are, the harder the grass is on the other side.
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Old 2012-05-08, 12:24 PM   #8
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A bush in the hand is worth two birds.
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Old 2012-05-09, 03:18 AM   #9
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He who laughs in time saves nine.
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Old 2012-05-09, 03:05 PM   #10
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Neither a borrower nor a lender think alike.
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Old 2012-05-09, 04:30 PM   #11
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Not precisely the same idea, but Yogi Berra had lots of gems along the theme of mixing up things:

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.
Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.
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Old 2012-05-09, 05:56 PM   #12
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Look up Casey Stengel's "Stengelisms" too.
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Old 2012-05-10, 10:15 AM   #13
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You can lead a horticulture but you can't make her think.
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Old 2012-05-10, 03:22 PM   #14
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That's a classic old pun. We're drifting a bit off topic, so here's another "Mixed Up Old Sayings..." specimen:

Curiosity killed the mother of invention.
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Old 2012-05-10, 07:48 PM   #15
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The longest journey begins with a woman scorned.
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