This thread is the companion thread to "What's your favourite punchline? (http://www.digitalhome.ca/forum/showthread.php?t=64474)"
Like jeopardy, the punchline thread has the finish and this thread is the beginning.
So in this thread, you tell the joke without the punchline. You are welcome to post the post # in the companion thread for those curious about the punchline but I think its more fun for folks to try and figure out which punchline goes with what joke.
2007-06-01, 04:33 PM
Teacher: Can anyone use the word 'contagious' in a sentence?
Little Johnny: Me and my dad were sitting out on the front porch last week and our neighbour was painting his garage door with a tiny brush. My dad said...
You can lead a horse to water...
2007-06-02, 09:38 PM
Little Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the sixth one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth and make you fat."
Little Tony replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."
The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat six candy bars at a time?"
Little Tony replied, "...
2007-06-04, 07:46 PM
two good friends, steve and andy, decided to get away for a weekend if hiking and camping. they were a good 10 miles into the woods when steve announced he needed a bathroom break and stepped off the trail.
a few seconds later, a blood-curdling scream rang out from behind a tree, followed by a crash as steve returned to the trail, his pants undone, his bloody member still hanging out.
"andy, help! i was taking a leak behind that tree when a little yellow snake dropped down on me and bit me right on my thing! do something!"
so andy took out his cellphone and called 911. after explaining what happened, they patched him right through to a doctor. "doctor, what do we do! my friend has been bitten by a little yellow snake!"
the doctor replied, "that is a very dangerous poisonous snake... you'll never make it back here in time. you need to cut open the bite and suck the poison out, or your friend is going to die!"
"ok", said andy, and hung up.
steve, looking desperate, looked at his friend. "andy! what did the doctor say?"